In Progress

Written 1-27-12

During Tanner's surgery my parents did a great job of trying to keep me distracted and not freak out too much. They said they would call me on my cel with updates and when everything was done.

Just after he was taken away my dad and I went downstairs to the lobby and found Gwen. Only two visitors were allowed in the CTICU at a time, so we had to shuffle a lot. We found her and sat down. I called Kollin to let him know that our little boy was in the surgeon's hands now. I couldn't handle it anymore. I started to break down and collapsed into my dad's lap.

I remember laying there and getting tears all over the leg of my dad's pants as I was bawling into the phone to Kollin. I think I stayed on the phone with Kollin for a good 10 minutes or so with him just listening to me cry and trying to comfort me. I don't know how he was able to keep himself composed, although I know he was at work and was trying his best not to think about it and break down himself.

After I was finally able to compose myself enough, my dad and Gwen took me to the hospital cafeteria to try to get something to eat. I don't think I was able to eat all of what I got, but I remember being surprised that I was able to eat at all.

After we ate I was in such a daze I can't remember if we did anything else or just went up to the visitor's lounge and sat in there until we got the call that he was done.

I remember at some points I did get phone calls letting me know that surgery was started and what different procedures had been done. At some point I just gave the phone to my dad because I just couldn't fit anything else in my brain at that point and he could translate for me easier anyway.

My dad told me that the surgeon did some part of the surgery (now that I'm thinking about it, of course I can't remember what part) in 20 minutes. Apparently this was impressive because he told me that he was very amazed with all of the intricate things the surgeon was able to do in just that amount of time when he can't even suture a finger in 20 minutes. At least that got me to smile.

Gwen had also found out at some point that Tanner's surgeon had also done a heart proceedure on Arnold Schwarzenegger about 7 years or so before! I thought that was pretty interesting and have always said that if Dr. Starnes (love him by the way) is good enough for the Govinator, then he is good enough for my baby!