Are you kidding me?

Written 1-27-12

Ok, so this one is kind of negative. Just warning you. But it really ticked me off and I can't seem to get it out of my head! So hopefully if I get it in writing I'll let it go... or not. We'll see.

Anyway!

The first night that I was able to hold Tanner was great. The nurse that we had was very good. She was the one that finally let me hold him. The one that showed me that I could burp him on my shoulder without hurting him. The one that figured out how to get him to eat more by switching to a different kind of nipple.

After everything she did that was so positive, there is still one thing that just royally pisses me off. It was the first night that she was our nurse. She was taking care of him and getting his vitals and everything. I was sitting on a chair blogging and Kathy was standing by Tanner's bed watching.

The nurse (I can't remember her name now) and Kathy were chatting and out of no where she asked if she wanted to hold Tanner! I popped my head up from my laptop right as she said this and started to cry and about ready to flip out. I am the mother, shouldn't I be the first one to hold him after not being able to for 3 days?!? (of course I am such a wimp, that was internal dialogue) Luckily Kathy said something along the lines of letting me hold him first and then she would if I was ok with it.

I was so happy that she said something because I still could not believe what that nurse just did and that I would not have been the first one to hold him (besides the nurses). I got all situated in a chair to be able to hold him and was handed my baby for the first time after surgery.

The pictures of this show my crying. To tell the truth, there were two different reasons that I was crying. One, of course, was that I was finally holding my little Tanner again! And the second, was that I was sooooo pissed off at that nurse for what she did.

I never told her or Kathy that was another reason that I was crying. But I sure called Kollin afterwards and told him. He wasn't too happy either. We were trying to think why she would have done that, and the only thing we could really think of was that for some odd reason she possibly thought that Kathy was the mom or that she thought I had already gotten to hold him before that? Other than that, we were stumped.

At least the nurse made up for it with all the other great things she did for Tanner and me.